you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
