she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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