Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
