Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
