What did we do last night that was yellow?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
