how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
