Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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