Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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