I love black thongs
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
