If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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