I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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