some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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