the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
