Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
