i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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