HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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