I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
