hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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