I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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