dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
