out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
These tits shall not be calmed
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
