Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize