WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize