I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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