yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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