Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
