I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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