She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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