so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize
