she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They have beer where we have blood.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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