you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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