WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
