Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
