I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
