I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
