I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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