i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize