the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
