Did we literally take a cab across the street
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
