i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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