I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
