Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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