the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
