This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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