this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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