i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
