Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She said her name was "party"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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