yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
not ubering you a puppy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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