Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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