My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize