Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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