the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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