is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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