that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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