Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
