i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize