i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
