I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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