i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
