Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize