If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize